Sensory Processing - My Perspective

A lot of times, people will look at me strange when I insist I cannot simply "tune out" certain noises, sights, etc. in my environment.

But I literally cannot.

Whatever the medical or neurologic terminology is, I'm missing the ability to tune things out.

I take in and have to process everything.

So that "quiet room" you took me to for a meeting? I might be able to hear people talking through the walls. There may be a very busy painting on the door. There's a crack in the ceiling. There's a smell; where's the coffee smell coming from? The "no signal" message on the TV is floating around. Also the TV itself is slightly crooked. The lights are extremely bright; is there a dimmer switch? There's a ton of switches on the wall, actually; what do they all do?

Oh . . . you've been talking to me for the past three minutes.

And at this point, I'm usually accused of being rude or not paying attention.

No, it's not intentional or some kind of power play.

It's just how my brain works.

And I physically cannot shut it off.

Yes it makes me good at observing. But it also makes sensory overload much more likely since I can't filter anything.

And by the way, I didn't even go into whether I can feel the seams of my clothes, if my hair feels dry, if my lips feel chapped . . .

So please be patient with me and anyone else in your life who might seem to be "rude" or "not paying attention."

Because trust me, I am paying attention.

I can't not pay attention!